Back To the Main SiteParents Attitudes and LGB Health
A friend of my mothers once told me that it is a sin to be gay. This should have been entirely unsurprising given that my mother is heavily embedded in the Christian church. However, I was surprised in this instance because I thought that this particular woman would know better… she had a Masters in Science, and a Masters in Teaching, and was almost a year into her MBBS, to become a GP. A medical doctor. When I questioned her thinking, she went on to explain that it is clearly a sin, because Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual people suffer poorer health than the general population.
That logic is flawed right from the beginning, after all, the native Aboriginal people of Australia have the poorest health of any minority group in the country, but one can hardly claim it is a sin to be born black. (For more information about Indigenous Health, see Health Info Net)
The part of that argument that I most want to address today though, is the incorrect notion that LGB people are suffering from poor health *because* they are LGB. A recent study has shown that there is a clear link between a young lesbian, gay or bisexual identified persons health, and their relationship with their family. That would imply that these people have poorer health, not because they are LGB, but because their family has a negative attitude to a large part of their identity.
“For the first time, research has established a predictive link between specific, negative family reactions to their child’s sexual orientation and serious health problems for these adolescents in young adulthood such as depression, illegal drug use, risk for HIV infection, and suicide attempts,” said Caitlin Ryan, who is the lead author of the paper.
So, if you are the parent it would seem that the greatest gift you can give your child, the best way that you can help ensure them a happy, healthy future, is not by trying to ’stamp out the gay’ in them… but to love and accept them for who they are, whether they are same-sex loving, or have a gender identity at odds with how you perceive them.
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Forget thee not, what is written down is taken as gospel, and both Church and Medicine is routed in having the written word as its stable ground on which to build entire worlds.
Church: has no place in Health and it has no place in State either.
Yes, good Health starts at home, with loving families that accept their oun kith and kin regardless the orienations and from their it should radiate outwards like the sunlight and be part of the whole community. Sadly, this is not a utopian world and we have to fight the constant battle to get aceptance and recognition, even from our kith and kin. why? why do we have to fight for this basic acceptance? control by others over you? control by the church? control by the law/state?
Acceptance by kith and kin gives you a peace of mind, that goes toward de-stressing your heart very much. A sad person feels sad in both head and heart, I feel it at times when I am saddened by how some people receive me…. it actually feels like a nail driven into my heart muscule and it weights on me until I can get rid of it. People have the ability to be so wonderful and so hurtful too. How do you feel about this saying:
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Be nasty to them and they will wish you every nastyiness too, and that IS going to effect your health.
What has health to do with SIN? Just because that women is brainy enough to get a Masters etc and train to be a GP, doesn’t mean she has the nounce to think for herself when she relies on GOD to answer things for her!
She really needs to ask this question of herself: Which is more important to her, God and Sin or the Hypocratic Oath! And if she answers God, then she should be barred from practising medicine… forever! Think about it!!
I totally agree. I think that if someone refuses to treat certain kinds of patients for ‘religious reasons’ they shouldn’t be allowed to practice medicine. If I refused to fix Windows computers at work because I think that all educational institutions should use open source software instead of proprietary software, I would be fired quick smart!
I don’t know if this will make sense, and I hope it doesn’t come out wrong, but if my son ever told me he was gay or trans or whatever, I think that I would take even greater care in nurturing and supporting him.
Now, this is not to say that I would prefer him to be gay or trans. I don’t have a preference one way or another. He’s my son and I love him unconditionally, exactly the way he is, whatever that may be and with all that it entails. I just think that, society being the way it is, he would need that extra measure of support and soft place to land, so to speak, during extra difficult times.
Does this make sense at all? Does it sound like coddling? I’m interested in hearing what you think.
That makes perfect sense to me Lottie, and I wish that more parents had that attitude.
Gay and trans kids need so much love and support. They need all the regular support of figuring out how to love, and have healthy relationships, and they need gentle and affirming guidance regarding their gender choices. The thing is though… they have so few role models. Movies like MILK have been really grasped by the young queer community, so many kids are like “Look! A role model!” Its easier for us though if our parents, and relatives are also positive and affirming about whatever decisions we make.
I personally would prefer a child to be at least a *little bit* queer, at least in the sense of being questioning about gender roles and heteronormativity. If I had a son, I wouldn’t mind if he was a masculine person interested only in sleeping with women… so long as he had made an informed decision to be masculine, and didn’t feel that was the only option available to him, just because he had a penis.
Does that make any sense to you?
Yes, that makes perfect sense to me. I believe my son is off to a good start on that road, too. He’s only eleven, but he’s been questioning gender roles, and identifying and decrying gender stereotypes for at least a couple of years now. We rarely get through a television program or a movie without him saying, at some point, “Oh my god! That is so stupid! What difference does it make if [...]”
This might be more on topic under Language Wars: What’s In A Name?, but I’ll put it here because I think it further demonstrates how he thinks about these issues, specifically heteronormativity:
There are a few different groups of kids at school who, for the past couple of years, have been calling my son “fag” and “gay boy” and the like. This is supposed to be an insult, of course.
He has gone to the counselor on several occasions but not for the same reason that many other kids do in his situation. He says that it’s annoying to be called gay, but only because he’s not. He doesn’t want to be called a cat or a tree either, if you see what I mean.
His main concern is the fact that these words are consistently used and perceived as insults. He explained to the counselors that the implication is that there is something wrong with being gay, and he thinks this is a “really bad attitude” to have.
It’s a whole different level name-calling in his view (and mine) and he thinks it should be dealt with accordingly in the schools.
I’m very proud of my son, and I will encourage him to continue embracing these kinds of values. Regardless of who he loves!
What does one do when a percieved sexuality is used as a insult? I don’t know, but it does do one of many thing, its brings about a form of social and peer isolation in kids towards people, a bad thing. I don;t know how to end this, but it must start with some form of education that everyone can respect and uphold. Maybe that’s a fantasy world, I don;t know.
I think that the grow a thick skin still applies to the GLBTIQ world so long as ppl keep seeing our world in such terms.
Maybe insults are in fact a envy response from the STR8 ppl, jealous that they cannot be like us? I kinda think not somehow! Oh well.
I wonder about ppl that do the insulting, what’s the matter with them? Is it the bragging to mates thing or is there something deeper to it. I draw the lines at the physical stuff tho, it is unwarranted and there is NO excuse in my books for it or anybody becoming violent about it. I think the violence just indicates a sick mind living in a sick society where its easier to act than think.